By Melanie Mahoney

Earlier this week, a woman was attacked by macaque monkeys while on holidays on Thailand.

She was reportedly trying to get over a phobia of the primates by visiting the ominously named ‘Monkey Island’, near Phuket, when a group of them attacked her. Her tour leader said some people had been teasing the monkeys earlier, and “that they don’t necessarily attack the specific person teasing them.”

That last bit makes sense when I think about all the people traumatised by monkeys while on overseas holidays.

A friend was staying in a Bali resort where monkeys hung out with the humans around the pool. A chef was sharpening his knives nearby when one of the little buggers galloped past and grabbed it. The furry thief ran up a tree and spent the afternoon threatening to throw it at resort guests, occasionally tossing it in the air and catching it to add a bit of excitement to his act.

In another part of Bali, two friends were wandering around “Monkey Forest” when one of the little forest-dwellers grabbed one of their hats and took off with it. The crafty fella was immune to their charms and refused to give it back, scaring the heck out of them with a display of his crazy monkiness (but also sometimes putting the hat on his head upside-down in a display of crazy cuteness). In his defence, once they’d given up on the hat, he gave it back.

As for me, I had my own primate scare while hiking through the Amazon in Ecuador. We trekked uphill in the rain for two hours, heading for a lookout. As we neared our destination, we noticed a few howler monkeys swinging through the trees above us. “Aww, they’re so cool!” we all cooed.

Our tour guide took one look at them then sprinted ahead. “Keep walking! They’ll attack us if we stop, they think we have food. That male bit one of my friends!”

We rushed to the top of the lookout, took a few blurry photos of the aggressive howlers quickly swinging their way towards us, then ran back down the hill. Totally worth it.

Have you had any run-ins with furry little creatures on your travels? Has a monkey had a go at you? Share your troubling story…

I went for a massage every second day, meaning that by the end of my ten day trip, I was really, really, really relaxed.

If you’re heading over to Bali, here are some tips for having a good massage experience:

1. Don’t go too cheap. The massage will still be good but the oil will smell stale, the therapists will seem harassed and the towels will be of questionable cleanliness and vintage. I just kept thinking, ‘Hepatitis! Hepatitis!’ which is not so relaxing.
2. Follow the French people. They are very discerning (read: snobby) so if a spa is overrun with Frenchies, you are in safe hands.
3. Stick to Balinese massage. I tried Lomi Lomi and it was excruciating. I have had this style of massage before and it’s not supposed to cripple you.
4. Tip the therapist directly; not when you go to pay. These girls (and they are always girls) get paid a pittance and work up to 12 hours a day. If you have seen some of the gross tourists they have to touch, you would understand that this is not an easy way to earn a living.

Where are the best massages in the world? I would love to know what you think…