If you would rather step on a fire ant nest than watch a sporting match, there is plenty for you to do in New Zealand that doesn’t involve rugby.

The purity of New Zealand’s environment has some pretty tasty results in the form of raw milk cheeses, Pinot Noir and seafood. If you’re a footy widow, or simply a lover of la dolce vita, an enticing food and wine trail has emerged out of the shaken foundations of Christchurch.

In the words of Johnny Horton, ‘head north’ (but not until Alaska; that is way too far). Beginning in Christchurch, the first stop on your oenology-meets-piggy adventure is the Canterbury Cheese Mongers. Curd nerds will revel in the raw cheese paradise that is the cheese room at this charming gem. Run by British ex-pats Sarah and Martin Aspinwall, the shop has a distinctly olde English feel that is further enhanced by the presence of traditional Lancashire pork pies. Being in the presence of that much quality pastry and dairy gives you thoroughly tangible endorphin rush.

Once you’ve started your day with a good strong coffee from the Aspinwall’s machine and you’ve loaded up your ‘chilly bin’ (See:

Black truffle and taleggio omelette

‘Esky’ for non-Kiwis) with snacks for the road, hit the asphalt and head up to Pegasus Bay (/www.pegasusbay.com) in Waipara for a genuinely outstanding antipasto platter and a glass of their big-busted, honeyed Riesling. Set on rolling verdant acreage, the winery and restaurant opens up to a formal herb and vegetable garden and a paved patio that overlooks the landscaped grounds. In cooler weather, the best place is definitely in front of the open fire on the leather couches. So cosy and so romantic.

Designated drivers beware: you may want to book accommodation in the nearby vicinity. The temptation to linger is overwhelming.

Cruising further north along State Highway 1, you pass countryside that wouldn’t be out of place in a Jane Austen novel. Things shift dramatically when you hit the coastline; black sand meets craggy outcrops and white wash, lending a certain Shakespearean drama to the scene. Hamlet would love it.

On arrival in the quaint township of Kaikoura – which literally means ‘food’ (kai) and ‘koura’ (lobster) in Maori – it’s hard not to get overexcited about the deep sea treasures heading to your plate. Hislops Wholefoods is a no-brainer as it serves local tucker with a focus on wild foods. From 5.30pm daily, you can roll up for a 4-course menu priced at NZ $49.50 that features intriguing dishes like confit of hare ravioli, wallaby and pistachio sausage, wild pork and horopito (a wild medicinal herb that is native to the region) schnitzel and organic pear fritter. Gluten-free, vegetarian, vegan and whole food options abound because the Hislops’ philosophy is all about wellbeing, environmental gentleness and damn fine food. What’s not to love?

The legendary Nin's Bin crayfish shack

Some places become an institution for their food but others enter folklore due to the characters involved. Nin’s Bin is an unassuming caravan on the side of the road that sells lobsters.  To say it’s humble is like saying the Dalai Llama is kinda laidback. What makes this crayfish shack even more appealing is its history. The story goes that that one day, the eponymous ‘Nin’ was in the caravan when a truck came flying around the corner and bulldozed the caravan directly into the sea. She walked out without a scratch. Legend.

Back on the road and, before long, you’re in Marlborough, home of the most famous – and cleverly marketed – Sauvignon Blanc in the world. Acres of vines spread out across desolate plains and every second driveway boasts a ‘cellar door’ sign. It’s hard to know where to turn, such is the litany of options. To avoid this conundrum, the smart money is on heading straight to Nautilus for a first-hand explanation of the ins and outs of the region. Assistant Winemaker Brett Bermingham is the friendliest man in the wine industry and takes regular tours through the winery, explaining the process in plain language with enormous tastings along the way.

If you make it to Nelson with your drinking boots still on, spectacular drinking opportunities present themselves. The best place to get into the boho-hippie-artsy vibe of Nelson is at The Freehouse. This converted church is a shrine to all that is semi-holy; craft beers, local wines by the glass and a warm, wooden interior that harks back to the days of taverns free of poker machines, flatscreens televisions and neon.

To recover from the dreaded ‘night before’, make sure you book a chopper ride over the Lord of the Rings locations with Reid Heslop Helicopters. The hidden benefit of this is that you can scope out all the best trout fly-fishing spots without having to wade through anything. Cheers to that!

Wanna go? Check out Tourism New Zealand and Air New Zealand for more info.

A snow alien is what happens when you land on your back in hard, icy snow and your head leaves a giant hole but your arms and legs look spindly.

I discovered this new life form when I was on a Lord of the Rings Location Tour with Reid Heslop Helicopters. The tour starts at the Reid HQ and takes you over farmland, forestry pines, crystal clear trout fishing streams and swoops up to the snowcapped mountains of Mt Owen where you stop off for a coffee and a chocolate bar.

I was travelling with a posse of rad Australians who all got very excited about the amount of snow. The mountains looked like they were covered in wedding cake icing.

Have you been to the snow recently? Did you throw yourself into it, only to discover it’s as hard and cold as a brothel madame?

Devastation? Rubble? A city destroyed by disaster?

Nope. Christchurch is actually OK.

Around the perimeters of the city, there is evidence of the quake. Some houses are held up by wooden struts, while others are missing chunks of eaves and roof.

The CBD (aka ‘the red zone’) is cordoned off to the public. This is where the major damage occurred so the only people allowed in are demolition crews.

It is heartbreaking to see such a beautiful city in pieces but the residents are far from broken. We speak to Ngaire Button, the Deputy Mayor, and she explains that the quake has brought the community together.

Street BBQs sprang up as freezers defrosted due to lack of power, people converted their backyards into long drop toilet blocks when the water ran out and, all over the city, a phenomenon called ‘Gap Filler’ occurred.

To explain, Gap Fillers are pop-up bars, coffee carts, performance spaces or dance clubs that fill spaces left where buildings have been knocked down. They are only temporary events but they embody the sense of positivity that is rising up against the horrors of the quake.

There is no question about whether the people of Christchurch have Post Traumatic Stress Disorder – they do – but what is heartening is that they acknowledge it. They know it’s going to be a marathon effort to rebuild their city but the good news is that the work has already begun.

Queenstown hails itself as a haven for adventure enthusiasts and while I’m not an adrenaline junky, I’m willing to give most things a go at least once.

For the uninitiated here is my guide to Queenstown for beginners.

1. Hit the mountains – With so much snow it would be a shame to waste it, so while I’m no snow bunny there are plenty of options for skiers and snowboarders from beginners to the advanced. Coronet Peak and The Remarkables ski fields are both just a short bus ride out of town and you can hire all your gear from a plethora of stores in the city centre.
2. Bungy Jumping – Queenstown is home to the original bungy jump started by AJ Hackett off the Kawarau Bridge in 1988. At 43 metres it is now one of the smaller jumps on offer in Queenstown, but it was more than enough for this punter.
3. Pub Crawl – Why not join some other snow bunnies for a few refreshing drinks after a long day on the slopes?Queenstown has plenty of bars and pubs to choose from with organised crawls operating several nights a week.
4. Fish & Chips – I’ve always liked how Kiwis say this particular meal option so I couldn’t resist digging into some takeaway, luckily there is a very handy shop on the main street that is willing and able to fry up a variety of undersea creatures.
5. Fergburger – Another well known eating establishment in Queenstown, this burger joint has a reputation that goes beyond anything I could begin to describe, but be warned this place is insanely popular so you may have to weave your way through the crowds.
6. Lake Wakatipu – This township is nestled alongside a pristine lake where you can enjoy any number of water activities. If you’ve had enough of the snow, take a leisurely stroll along the boardwalk or get your heart pumping in a speed boat.

Have you been to Queenstown? Did you jump, ski or otherwise speed towards something? What did you think?

That’s what happened on my last trip to New Zealand. In my role as Organizatron, I managed to convince my group of friends that Milford Sound was a ‘must see’ attraction and subsequently booked everyone on a day trip. That day just happened to be New Year’s Eve 2008.

As the crow flies, Milford Sound is a mere hour from Queenstown so if you look at it on a map, it seems deceptively close. However, the one thing anyone who has been to New Zealand knows is that there are lots of lakes and those lakes tend to get in the way of roads.

At dawn, we gathered at reception to wait for the bus and it was only then that we started to wonder how long we were going to be away for. Someone asked the guy at the desk and the response was, ‘twelve hours’. Huh?

There was immediate dissent. Some people considered forfeiting their place, others hunkered down.  I stuck to my guns. Milford Sound was worth seeing.

Once aboard the bus with our snow-flake tattooed driver, we sat back and enjoyed the scenery. Alpine landscape transformed into Fjordland. Seas of pink, blue and purple Phlox stretched out across impossibly beautiful valleys. Along the way, it started to rain. Then we hit a bit of snow. And then, in the  middle of summer, what transpired can only be described as a low range typhoon.

There we were aboard a cruise ship being battered by gale force winds and torrential rain, clinging to our sad little buffet lunches and hoping to God that we didn’t all drown.

But then something happened. We decided to go out onto the deck. We looked up. Pouring down the cliffs were rivers of white water; epic mist and precipitation. We had arrived in Middle Earth. Then the dolphins showed up, impervious to the tempest, and played in the bow wave.

The five hour bus ride home was cold and wet and quiet. Everyone was exhausted, and yet, there was this feeling that we had survived something heroic.

When we cheered at the fireworks at midnight, I knew that I would never forget that New Years’.

Have you ever booked something that turned out to be awful?  Tell me your tales of woe …