Woo-Oahu! My stay at Ritz-Carlton Residences, Waikiki
Most of the time I am a suburban mum covered in toddler snot but occasionally – almost magically – I get yanked out of my leggings and sent spinning into a world of luxury.
That’s what happened recently when I wound up at the Ritz-Carlton Residences in Waikiki.
When I was dropped off at the port cochere, the staff actually knew my name. It was like the bar in Cheers but with less washed-up alcoholics!
My friend Joh and I were given shell leis, a guava welcome drink with the option of a dark rum spike, chilled towels, and then whisked off to our absurdly spacious Ocean View Suites.
It took me exactly 18 minutes to figure out how to use the coffee machine (I eventually resorted to the instructions) and I stuffed all the welcome snacks (taro chips, caramel popcorn and macadamia chocolates) immediately into my suitcase.
The bathroom was a magnificent marble chamber with a fast-filling tub and a Japanese toilet. Oh to have your bottom warmed while you ponder your good fortune.
I had to interrupt my smug self-congratulation to appear at the spa for a Huki Huki (renew) treatment involving mud, leaves, a scalp treatment and a lomilomi massage that prompted the therapist to say, “Excuse me – you can’t sleep in here”.
It was heavenly.
You see, I’d had a pretty lousy month leading up to this trip – one of those months that makes you think, ‘SERIOUSLY WHAT ELSE CAN GO WRONG?’
But then you think of many new and creatively awful things that could happen and you immediately decide to change the subject.
Subsequently, it was not just a relief but almost an act of divine grace that plonked me in that place at that exact time.
Those broad white beds, that cerulean view, the Taittinger by the glass, the elegant details in The Market Place where you order your a la carte taro pancakes with caramelised pineapple and macadamias while a warm Waikiki breeze ripples across your soy flat white.
Because that’s the thing. For all my waxing lyrical about a low impact life of minimal needs and wants, sometimes a little bit of overt luxury is just the thing you need.
Have you stayed somewhere super-luxe recently? Care to humble brag?