More things I hate

Would I go there? Hell no.

Would I go there? Hell no.

1. The term ‘Bucket List’
I have no problem with wanting to do things. I have no problem with writing those things down. I have a big problem with it being called a bucket list.

2. The BCC
That person who sends you a snakey email about something you did wrong and BCCs your boss. That.

3. Flatmates who only wash their own dishes
I get that you think it’s polite to clean up your own mess. I get that you may think it’s normal to only take out your recycling and leave everyone else’s there. Maybe you were raised by wolves and you don’t understand human ways. I don’t care.

4. Bowties
Urgh. They remind me of Daddy Warbucks. Anyone wearing a bowtie outside of the confines of a black tie gala just seems like a pretentious idiot.

5. Stockings
I don’t hate the utility of them so much as the experience of having the crotch work it’s way down to my knees as I hoik them up every five seconds. Also, the word ‘gusset’.

6. Novelty spelling
It doesn’t just make my skin crawl, it makes my soul crawl. Also ‘R Us’.

7. Molecular gastronomy
If I wanted to eat foam, I would make like a cooped up Kelpie and chew the couch.

8. Leaky coffee cups
I get a long black with milk that, without fail, leaks everywhere. Without the protective buffer zone of froth, coffee is like primordial slime desperate to ooze its way into the living world.

9. Beards
I went on an ill-fated date with a bushy-bearded Scotsman once. His amorous advances were sodden in facial beer, something as sexy as pashing on with pub carpet.

10. High heels
If I wanted the sensation of having a rusty stake driven through the arch of my foot, I would head to the nearest paddock, find a rusty stake and drive it into my foot. High heels render me ill-tempered and exhausted, something I can manage on my own.

What do you hate? Wanna vent?

 


 

 

 

 

Comments
5 Responses to “More things I hate”
  1. Great list, Em, agree with it all, esp the bucket list thing. It’s NOT A THING people! Let’s all toss the bucket and go back to being normal people wanting to do things with our life but not necessarily telling everyone who doesn’t ask what they are. My current hate is people driving too close to me, as in following too closely, at 100 KPH (the speed limit) for crying out loud, when there’s no chance of passing – but not so close it could be called tail-gating. What if I want to slow down to look at the surf, or have to swerve to avoid a wallaby? So I find myself pulling over, letting the speeding aggro-heads pass, and tootling on my merry way…Thanks Em, I needed that.

  2. Katie says:

    Beach hangs, summer hangs. No Hangs!

    P.S I love you

  3. Miss Oh says:

    2 things:
    Passive aggressive office b’s, who have nothing better to do than cause unhappiness. Why people? WHY?
    Drivers who don’t use their indicators when turning or those who forget they’ve had it on for the last km or more!

    Thanks for reminding us that you share our hell Em 🙂

  4. Lou says:

    Peeps who answer their phone only to say they CAN’T TALK.

    DON’T FLIPPING ANSWER, KAY?

  5. People who can’t spill and put jernalist on their business card. That. People who buy thousands of ‘likes’ for their FB page, Twitter etc and pass themselves off as a Social Media genius. That.

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