Woman seeks World’s Biggest Douchelord
Because I now have a vacancy.
I have the remarkable ability to find the douchiest douchebags and fall in love them.
Do you have a lot of baggage? A litter of illegitimate children? A wife squirrelled away somewhere? Maybe a prescription drug habit?
Do you have a list of health complaints that would rival my grandmother? An approach to business that makes Christopher Skase seem above board? Perhaps a drinking, gambling or sex addiction?
Are you a compulsive liar and conman?
Or are you simply still in love with your ex? Did she royally screw you over and are you seeking revenge by dating someone else?
If you are a Guinness Book of World Records douchelord of the highest order, I WANT TO DATE YOU. Call me.
Sorry Emma, if you are currently missing douchbags in your life it is because they have been coming to me! PS: Did I tell you about the guy who complimented me at the end of a date by saying my body was as hot as one of the young prostitutes he’d slept with in Bali?
Jacqui, that is truly hilarious
Emma, I’d like to have a heart-to-heart with you. I think I can help you. Do you Skype?
I was going to leave my number, but then realised I don’t fit in to any of those categories.
I have a few mates I can put you in contact with though!