Life and stuff: Fatty fatty boombalardy

fatty-fatty-boombalardyThree weeks of eating whatever I want has turned me into a bit of a fat ass. I just spent ten months losing five kgs. I drank vegetable juice, I ate protein, I cross-trained; I suffered, dammit!

To make matters worse, I have been reading a book called Between Mexico and Poland by Lily Brett where she talks at length about her body image issues. This lady is neurotic with a capital crazy lady. The first words she learnt in Spanish were ‘sin grasa’ (no fat).

I can’t stop myself from going berserk on local specialties when I am travelling. In the USA, this meant artichokes hearts deep fried in cheese and smothered in ranch dressing. In Mexico, it meant corn-based cheesy everything. This problem will be compounded when I get home and suffer post-holiday blues. This means I will eat more American and Mexican food, albeit a b-grade homemade version doused in tears.

I have always been a chubster and have subsequently spent my whole life oscillating between trying to change or accept it. Enter Nigella Lawson. She is seriously gorgeous and also a bit of a curve ball. I decided a little while ago that she would be my role model so I grew my hair and started wearing pearls.

My point is this: why not choose a role model that is within the stratosphere of attainability? If you’re a skinny white dude, don’t try to be Muhammad Ali; try to be the Mac guy. If you’re a dwarf, go for Smurfette; not Giselle Bundchen.

Physically aspiring to something completely opposite to yourself is like trying to turn yourself into squirrel; no matter how many acorns you stash in your bedroom drawer, it ain’t gonna happen.

Who is your physical role model? And does putting on a few kgs make you feel like a social pariah?

8 Responses to “Life and stuff: Fatty fatty boombalardy”
  1. Rachel says:

    I know how you feel, trying to balance the curves you love with the pressure to keep them within some level of control and not turn into the michelin man. I too have resigned myself to the fact that I will never be tall and/or willowy. I won’t be able to have long blonde locks until my brown hair has gone grey and I can hide the regrowth. And i will never ever have an olive-skinned complexion.
    So I look to Drew Barrymore, sure she may still be a couple of inches taller than me, but her weight fluctuates like a normal woman and she just accepts it. Now if only I could have the successful Hollywood career like her too!

  2. Cousin Mick says:

    I aspire to be the guy from the Mac commercials 🙂

  3. Lou says:

    What a great post with a great message! My body image role models are Nigella Lawson (loves her food, loves her curves) and Christina Hendricks from ‘Mad Men’ (va-va-voom!). Both women are gorgeous, curvy and so feminine. Love them!

  4. greta says:

    Christina Hendricks!!

  5. Shaun says:

    I aspire to be the PC guy from the Mac commercials

  6. mel says:

    I aspire to be like Blake Lively. Wait, then I’d need fake boobs. What the hell, I’ll add them too 😉

  7. mel says:

    Also, the way the emoticons are always at the start of the line, not where you actually insert them in the comments, makes me laugh. It’s like a warning – “watch out, sarastic comment ahead!”

  8. mel says:

    What’s a sarastic comment? Goddamit!

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