The naked truth about nudist beaches
I often get accused of being a hippie because I like rainbows and soy chai and Goddess cards.
It’s for this reason that I always thought I would love going to a nudist beach. All that freedom and nature and sun-on-bare-skin – what’s not to like? Well, school boys and weird old English swingers, for one thing.
I was reminded of my ill-fated nudie run by this very funny story by Joshua Crouthamel on Ninemsn Travel about the top nudist beaches in the world.
Many full moons (haw haw) ago, I decided to drag my very conservative then-boyfriend to a nudist beach near Nelsons Bay, NSW.
We both felt a little giggly as we set out for the beach. 2kms later and we were still walking through spider-infested, humid bush … still no beach … and now we were all hot and bothered (but not in the good way).
When we finally arrived, an awkward tidal flat stretched out before us with knee-deep puddles and sandbanks galore. This was not the paradise I had come to expect from films such as Blue Lagoon. Not to be deterred, we stripped off and perched ourselves on a dune.
It felt really weird. Not entirely bad but definitely not comfortable. I eventually braved the open sand and walked down for a paddle. It was only when I looked back that I realised there were quite a lot of people there; dodgy looking people hiding in the dunes.
And then came the school boys. Here’s a tip: don’t go to a nudist beach between 3.30pm – 4pm.
Mortified, I scurried back up the beach and got my gear back on. Off we scarpered, up the track and back into the suffocating bushland, only to be greeted by two seemingly mild-mannered English folk wearing socks and sandals AND NOTHING ELSE. What’s more, they confessed they had seen us down at the beach and were wondering where we were going *wink* *wink*.
EEEEEEEEEEEEK!
Has anyone had any good nudist beach experiences? Or bad ones? Care to share?
Anyone who wants to give it a crack (I can’t get enough of the puns today), should check out this site.
Haha, love this. I’ve never gone to a nude beach because of fear of all this happening.
I remember living in Newcastle NSW years ago and one day decided to head down through the bush to an isolated beach near my house called Burwood Beach. My mate Alex was with me and after a good 30mins walking through thick scrub with two sixpacks of beer, we finally found it. We headed down to the shoreline and thought it would be a great idea to bury our beer in the sand to keep cool. Once we had swum out a way and turned around, we realised to our horror there were quite a few naked old men standing in the dunes looking at us. What we didn’t know at the time was this was a well known ‘meeting place’ for the locals. We also didn’t know that this beach wasn’t meant for swimming as is was the direct outlet for raw sewage from the Water treatment plant directly in front of us. Even after making our way back to shore, it got worse as our beer was nowhere to be found as the tide had washed away our ‘x marks the spot’ stick in the sand. I also ended up with the worst case of sunburn so it really was a great day out!
Oh Steve… how sad! It’s experiences like Em’s and yours, and the fact I’m pretty much the opposite of an exhibitionist, that keeps me from these sans-clothes locales.
Funny
Now I now why I have never been to a nudist beach