I recently caught up with a friend whose partner left her after she had a late-term miscarriage. We were talking about being single when you’re in your mid-30s and basically how much it sucks. The thing is: she didn’t choose her situation, not for a second.

I know plenty of people who are dealing with situations that they didn’t choose and no, they’re not happy about it. They’re not walking, breathing Instagram memes about empowerment because they’re struggling.

In order to make a choice, you first need to be given the opportunity to make one.

The idea that we make our own opportunities is regularly bandied about but the reality – for many people at least – is that they’re dealing with the legacy of other people’s choices; choices that severely limit their opportunities.

Ask yourself this: Who in your life gave you opportunities? And who taught you what a good choice was?

Then ask yourself: How can you do this for others? Who can you be a light for?