Pasture raised chickens feeding

Life+Stuff: Clucky

Babies. They’re freakin’ everywhere. All over Facebook, in strollers at the supermarket, spreading a contagion of adorability everywhere I go.

Pasture raised chickens feeding
‘All the Single Ladies’ was a big hit in the farmyard

Yes, I am finally clucky.

I used to think that cluckiness was something that would never happen to me, like falling in love with the Abominable Snowman or winding up in rehab with Amy Winehouse. But guess what? I was wrong.

Here I am; 33 years old, separated and with ovaries that are blowing kisses to the universe, like meaty little Marilyns. They’re saying, ‘Hello boys’, all breathy and flirtatious.

Anybody else out there wishing for a big, ol’ preggy belly instead of flat abs? Does anyone have a human baby I can borrow for, say, 75 years?

4 comments on “Life+Stuff: Clucky

  1. Same here Em, my mind knows I’m not ready but my body doesn’t care. You’re fertility is declining, it screams. Steal that baby. Now. Thank god for the furby.

  2. Hi Em
    Yes definitely same here. It gets progressively stronger as you get into your late thirties. There’s even a blood test now to check fertility levels which I had done. Not sure I should have, but at least I know how much time I have left which isn’t much. Not much I can realistically do about it which isn’t helping the issue. Not to mention the hormones making me want to have sex with any straight man within a few metres, even if they’re not at all attractive! It’s like a craving for food times 10 trillion! Uncontrollable! And so not fair!

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