Dear Aunty Em

I’ve found my soul mate – should I really give him up because he’s an idiot about money?’
– Cashless Transaction

Dear Cashless Transaction,

As someone who was once peer pressured into buying $600 shoes that I couldn’t walk in, I empathise with your dumb ass soul mate. Being stupid about money is something I specialise in – you have come to the right place!

What I want to clarify is the level of stupidity. Are we talking Alan Bond-style pyramid property schemes or just a credit card statement that makes your eyes bleed? These are quite different things. One will force you to fake your own death while the other is manageable with discipline and perseverance.

Which brings me to Point 2: discipline and perseverance. Does this person possess those traits? If so, you may continue. If not, run for the hills.

Most people have behaved irresponsibly with money. If there was an island populated with people who had blown stupid amounts of money on drugs, gambling and hookers, it would need to be re-classified as a continent and it would be a fun place to live. I’m going to call it ‘Europe’.

Spending money on dumb stuff can actually be a good quality because it means this person knows how to have a good time and isn’t afraid to splash the cash. Nobody wants to date a miser whose idea of a fancy fish dinner involves sardines and a glass of water.

Problems arise when the person in question doesn’t know when to stop the madness, eat baked beans for a few weeks and sort their sh*t out.

Final point: don’t get into bed with this idiot financially. By all means, get into bed. Roll around on money, toss it in the air and have unbridled, Las Vegas-style coitus, but do not enter into a financial partnership with this person until they prove that they can pay a bill on time.

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