‘What happens when you’ve been good mates with someone for 15 or 20 years only to wake up one day to a Facebook rant that reveals the shock that they are a Liberal loving Tony Abbott devotee who thinks his plan re: cutting off Aboriginal communities is just giving everyone a ‘fair go’. And you wonder how you can possibly still be friends? Worse, what happens when someone you’re heavily romantically involved with comes out with a racist comment?’

– Race riot

Dear Race Riot,

How awkward. It’s like tucking into a molten lava chocolate pudding only to discover it’s made from dog poo. It looks like a pudding, it tastes like a pudding but it’s actually full of sh*t.

Do you spit or swallow?

It’s OK to have different political views but some people’s are completely unpalatable because they are laced with a bitter herb called ‘ignorance’. In this first instance, I would ask your stupid friend if they have ever been to a remote aboriginal community? Do they have any expertise in community housing? HAVE THEY EVER MET AN ABORIGINAL PERSON?

The reason I say this is that a lot of people express strong views about things they know nothing about. Challenge your friend on their views without being overly combative. After all, people don’t know what they don’t know and that is entirely forgivable. If it turns out they know everything there is to know about the issue and they still came to this conclusion, it might be worth listening to them and trying to understand why. After all, the little ‘l’ liberal left can be wrong too.

Alternatively, you could just ask them whether they’ve ever received Austudy, used their Medicare card or enjoyed a free public school education and then suggest that all these things be abolished in order to give rich white people a ‘fair go’.

On the second point – romantic involvement with a racist: go wash out your vagina.