Do you need to believe?
I have this problem in romantic relationships where I need to believe it’s going somewhere.
It’s like the whole ‘suspension of disbelief’ theory for movies. Sure, we all know that it’s highly unlikely that a stray alien landed in Drew Barrymore’s childhood bedroom but to enjoy the film E.T., you really need to let go of reality and enjoy the show.
Does the same apply to love?
None of my relationships ever last but, for me to be happy in them, I need to believe they will.
Why can’t I just enjoy the day-to-day aspects of romantic love without buying into the whole wedding/babies/house thing? I have never managed to make any of those things work. A smart person would learn from their failures and take a more realistic stance.
But I just can’t.
The minute I start thinking of a relationship as temporary (and yes, I know everything changes and everyone dies), I get really distressed.
I need to suspend disbelief for the duration of the relationship and believe that this person is The One and we are going to have a future together, even if that ‘future’ turns out to be finite.
I would never accept a job, sign a lease or start a hobby thinking it will be forever. Why do I do it with love?