Dear Aunty Em: Younger
‘I’ve started dating someone nine years’ younger than me – don’t tell anyone! I feel that I’m too old and he’s got his life ahead of him and he wants to party. The problem is that we like each other more than either of us has liked anyone before and we click. What should I do?’
– Child Bride
Dear Child Bride,
Provided you’re not 18 years old, I see no problem here.
The heart wants what it wants. Sometimes it wants a double vodka. Sometimes it want a Saturday night Madonna-thon. Other times, it wants the smooth skin and rock hard abs of a young man.
Men are just so cute at that age.
The real issue is the future. Ahhh the future. That magical place where babies, marriage and home ownership live in surprising detail.
When you’re in bed with this fetching young creature is your imagination conjuring up images of engagement rings and wedding dresses? Colour schemes for nurseries and trips to Bunnings?
All of this is perfectly fine provided the man in question is equally enamoured with this vision. Have you spoken to him about your goals? What you want to achieve in life? Where you would like to be in five years? Or have you spent the majority of your time together nose deep in each other’s genitals and 17 bottles of Pinot Grigio?
The reason I ask is that there’s a little thing called limerence, loosely defined as that floaty time of hormonal stimulation where everything your paramour says sounds like a Disney soundtrack. This lasts for approximately 18 months, after which the string section gets distinctly more Metallica.
Enjoy this loving state. Enjoy this beautiful young man. At some stage, have a chat to him about his plans and see if they align with yours. There is no point worrying about the future but I do recommend planning for it so you have a shot at getting what you want.