Dear Aunty Em: Snorer adorer

‘The guy I’ve been seeing is a snorer. I’ve tried sleeping next to him twice and it’s been a disaster – how do you sleep next to a snorer? Is it okay to want to sleep separately even in the courting phase due to sleep being an absolutely essential (mental) health thing?’

Dearest Snorer Adorer,


Ha ha – kidding but also not kidding.

This is one of the issues that has the potential to cause immense tension in a relationship. The main cause, apart from the obvious sleep disruption caused by ‘sleeping’ (aka lying awake fuming) next to a snorer is often the underlying lack of desire to fix the problem.

There are these wonderful devices called CPAP machines that open the air ways and silence the snoring. The people who have them stay married and the people who don’t – well – they are back on Bumble.

The tricky thing here is that sleeping together – with or without the sexy times – is a form of bonding between couples. It’s one of the acts that sets intimate relationships apart from all others (unless you have kids under 10 – they’re often in there too, monopolising space and dream-kicking someone in the eyeball with their unkempt toe claws).

I think it’s completely fine to sleep apart so long as it doesn’t compromise the intimacy of the relationship. If both parties accept that while the snoring continues, the sleeping apart continues, then you’ll be OK.

A better solution would be if the snorer took action and did something about it. Better for their health. Better for you. Better for your fledgling relationship.

Have you ever slept next to a snorer? Are you now serving time for murder?



1 comment on “Dear Aunty Em: Snorer adorer

  1. Ahhh the snorer needs to take action, of course! Funny how we often put the onus on ourselves when we’re not the problem. Thank you Aunty Em xx

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