Life and stuff: Beauty has always been bonkers

beauty-has-always-been-bonkersWelcome to my new articulately titled ‘Life and Stuff’ section where I will discuss life … And stuff … I hope you like it!

Humans have developed a strange relationship with their bodies. This is not a new thing by any means. Mayan nobility strapped boards to their babies heads so that the fontanelles fused in a variety of different shapes (flat, domed, etc), Hmong hilltribes in Northern Thailand used rings to stretch girls’ necks and Chinese girls had their feet bound at birth.

It’s as though the less practical or ‘standard issue’ something is, the more beautiful it is deemed. Not to mention the wealthy classes going to great lengths to differentiate themselves from the working classes. Enter the skin colour issue. In South East Asia, where presumably having high levels of melanin in your skin is a biological advantage due to the sunny nature of the region, dark skin is scorned as being common.

The way I think about it is this; your body is like the car you drive. Essentially you are going to be stuck with one manufacturer your whole life but you will go through lots of different models. The make is influenced by your genes, the model is influenced by your age. Lifestyle factors like fuel, regular services, driver safety and wear and tear have an impact upon the performance of your car but the simple fact is that a Mercedes will always outclass an Alfa Romeo because it is engineered better.

Modern humans spray tan, wax, bleach, dye, inject, paint, implant, pierce and tattoo. This is tribal behaviour – we are still trying to differentiate the classes and alter our bodies to culturally agreed upon standards of beauty. There is nothing inherently wrong with that. It is just worth noting that getting butt implants is anthropologically just as weird as Elizabethan women whitening their faces with poisonous lead paint and arsenic powder or Masai warriors scarring their chests in intricate patterns.

Essentially, you can pimp your ride anyway you want. Just remember that you are the driver, not the car.

Tell me, you frightfully good looking people, what do you think about all of this? Are we all bonkers for doing this stuff?

7 comments on “Life and stuff: Beauty has always been bonkers

  1. Yes we are bonkers, but we’re also superficial and shallow, so we will always strive to be more beautiful in whatever way we feel is appropriate. Even though what we see as beautiful constantly changes and evolves.

  2. It’s too early in the morning and I haven’t had my coffee yet so I can’t really contribute intellectuallly to this dialogue. I will say I like boobs. Boobs are great. The best cars always have the biggest headlights!

  3. Once l hit 40 and l found myself “Single” as opposed to being ‘Married’, l found the Singles scene a particularly strange place to be. As with all Singles Website, they ask for a profile, so l painted the picture comparing myself to a car:
    “Reliable, polished and very functional. The engine has been overhauled, and although a little frayed around the edges, the body was solid, bright and well appointed.”

    What is it with Men and thier cars, that we as women, feel the need to speak thier language in order to get noticed.
    I pulled the profile of the site and stopped going to the “Singles” event because l found them to be shallow, gutless and sad.

    So while this is a strange way to answer your question – why do we as human’s, dehumanise our body so they’re not recognisable and where ‘differences’ are frowd upon and ‘sameness’ is sought. 

  4. As you say, humans have always had this habit to either be part of the tribe or standout from the crowd, it’s in our nature. What concerns me is that now we aim for the unrealistic and frankly impossible ideals created on photoshop.

  5. Dan – there’s nothing wrong with Alfas, except that if you’re living in one you might want to get health insurance!

    Helen – I went to Madame Tussaud’s waxworks in Hollywood where everything claims to be life sized and I can honestly say that most female Hollywood stars are teeny tiny and magazines still Photoshop them. I swear they are all half fairy, like Sookie Stackhouse. I, on the other hand, had a 6ft 5″ Polish grandfather and am subsequently built like a Tonka Truck.

    Anthea – My husband is obsessed with cars. I always joke with him and tell him he suffers from mechanophilia because instead of buying girlie mags he reads Just Cars!

    Elly and Doug – viva la boobies! I love them too!

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