Life and stuff: How to save money so you can blow it all on travel
To say I am hopeless with money is like saying Hitler wasn’t very good with people. My wallet is a vortex.
Out of sheer necessity, I have perfected the art of living abundantly on a scant budget because I’ll be damned if a little thing like cash flow is going to impede my ability to lark about.
Subsequently, I have come up with ways to save loads of money. They are as follows:
1. Whenever possible, work from home. You will save money on commuting, coffees, lunches and post-work drinks. Why drink in a bar when you can drink at home by yourself like a proper alcoholic?!
2. Buy your clothes from K-Mart and Target. Somewhere in China, there is a factory full of sweaty children pumping out chain store knock-offs that wind up in the big discount department stores. For about a quarter of the price, you will be clothed in new season fashions that are made using the same unethical methods as the clothes sold in expensive shops – bargain!
3. Sell your car. If you don’t really, really, really need a car, offload that sucker. Chances are (if you’re financially challenged) you don’t even like your car so it’s not like you’ll be bidding an emotional farewell to a 1960’s 280SL Mercedes convertible.
4. Stop buying stupid sh*t. Things that fall into this category include (but are not limited to): Dilapidated vintage caravans, 1940’s American quilts that are too fragile to use, Betty Page garter belts, trashy magazines, expensive ‘providore’ foodstuffs like organic quince paste made by Armenian goat herds, anything that falls into the ‘decorative/ornamental’ category of homewares and above all, extortionately expensive beauty products. Cate might use SKII but if you want to save money, you are going to make friends with Oil of Olay.
5. Hang out with similarly skint individuals. That way everyone will be happy with $3 schooners and you won’t find yourself in the awkward social position of forking out $7o for three glasses of wine and a marinated olive or two.
6. Live somewhere cheap. I am not suggesting you move into a cave or set up camp under a bridge. I am merely suggesting that you lower your standards a little and move to a cheaper suburb that doesn’t have sweeping views of the harbour.
7. Learn to like eggs and toast. These are two of the most versatile all-day foodstuffs and they are very cheap. Spending $15 on takeaway or $25 at a cafe all adds up over the course of a year. Think about it; $25 will buy you a coffee in Paris. Would you rather eat pad thai in Marrickville or sip cafe latte at The Louvre? OK, don’t answer that (if you’re like me, pad thai is always going to win that fight).
Do you have any sure-fire cash saving tips you would like to share? How did you manage to save up for your last trip?
To save up for my overseas trip, I used to take my own vodka out in a bottle in my handbag to mix with soft drinks. Trashy, yes. Against liquor regulations, yes. Just don’t get trashed, or go to a place that searches bags, and you’ll be fine. If you do get caught, leave gracefully.
hahaha Hilarious and sensible!! I love eggs on toast and drinking at home like a proper alcoholic with my similarly skint friends, can’t bring myself to offload the old rav though, nice work em xx
“bean counter” approves of this post
Furnish your house or apartment with goods found on the street. Find out when council collection days are and set yourself a challenge to fitout your entire place with only items found on the curbside. This could be seriously fun or seriously dodgy, especially when you realise why these items were thrown out in the first place because now your place smells like cats piss and you don’t even own a cat…
Yes Emma, no more caravans please…
Dang! This is right on the money Sister (pun intended – in fact, it took me a while to think of it)!
… K-Mart clothes are basically uniform for me – I’ve found that, once I’ve spilled coffee or ink on an item, I can call it ‘couture’ and not feel like I’m lying.