Life+stuff: Fat

I’m fat and I’m OK.

I look like a dog in a bikini

I’m healthy, happy and my weight doesn’t get in the way of anything except for wearing bikinis which, quite frankly, doesn’t make up a large part of my day. Ever. Not once have I gotten up in the morning and thought, ‘What am I going to wear to work?’ and the answer has been, ‘Bikini’.

I don’t want anyone to jump in and say, ‘Oh no, you’re not that fat,’ or, my personal favourite, ‘You have such a pretty face.’ I am not asking for support because THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH ME.

I know there are plenty of arguments around ‘Whatever is rare in a society is valued, or ‘Whatever is difficult to attain is considered virtuous.’ My hunch is simply that someone – or in this case, innumerable people – are getting rich out of pushing this ideal.

Aluminium foil is shiny and so is silver. Society tells me silver is valuable so I keep it in a jewellery box instead of a kitchen drawer. Advertising tells me that diamonds are forever but a chunk of quartz is just as ‘forever’ in my geologically short life. People are making money out of the belief that one is more precious than the other. Sure, one might be marginally prettier, but more valuable? Why? Because one is supposedly rarer than the other.

You could say that Hitler was rare; rare doesn’t always mean good.

I have wasted years of my life thinking about my weight. I have gone on diets, exercised like a demon and eaten enough fruit and vegetables to keep the herbivores at Taronga Park Zoo going for years. If I had devoted this much time to learning French, I would be writing this in French.

I’ve had brief stints of being a Size 12 during periods of intense exercise or strict dieting but I always end up back at Size 16. This is my natural weight and I am worn out from fighting it.

In the same way that I’ve stopped straightening my hair or wearing uncomfortable shoes, I have signed a peace treaty with my fat wings, spare tyres and saddle bags. They are as much a part of my natural state as cheerfulness, friendliness and a maniacal love of plants and animals. I would never want to change any of those positive things and I give up on trying to shrink wrap myself into society’s idea of what I should look like.

I will delightedly pour vast amounts of time and money into being healthy because that makes me happy but as far as bikinis go, I am ready to say goodbye.

Have you ever felt judged because of your weight? Does your muffin top make you feel like a lesser human? Spill your guts (right out of the top of your pants, if you feel like it!) …



9 comments on “Life+stuff: Fat

  1. This is such an awesome post! There is definitely someone making money from everything we are told to do, but not many people see it. Great writing!

  2. Thanks Natureboy!

    And Thanks Mel – that Chrissie Swan post is awesome. She is just the most delightful human being.

  3. “Aluminium foil is shiny and so is silver. Society tells me silver is valuable so I keep it in a jewellery box instead of a kitchen drawer.” I just tweeted this. Emma, this is amazing.

    My personal favourite – “You’re not fat, you’re built…” Built like a army truck, perhaps?

    I’m with you. I’m fat and I’m OK! Let’s start a revolution? Big Booty Bitches are OK! I’d like to see a skinny girl in a bikini twerk like this thang can. MMMMM.

    Beau x

  4. You know, as the saying goes “if you don’t mind …. it doesn’t matter”. People are going to be judgemental no matter what. That is usually about their own insecurities.
    Decide what is best for you and fits your own life, and if you are happy, that is what matters.

    By the way, you do have a pretty face 🙂

  5. Beautifully written from the heart – as usual, Emma! I could paraphrase so much of your post to make it relevant to my decades of struggle and self-loathing at being so short (4’11”) and with a wonky, crooked spine. And, while not wanting to infer anything other than my opinion/experience, I’m at the other end of the spectrum, where I can’t seem to GAIN weight. I’m the runt of my family’s litter, basically! 😉 Not skeletal, and I have my podgy bits, but I am apparently considered underweight, even for my lack of height. I can’t donate blood, because I am under the minimum weight!! How ridiculous is that??! The one time I did noticeably gain weight was in my 30s, after 6 months travelling and eating lots of Euro-stodge. And, now in my mid-40s, I guess I’m at the normal weight for me. You can manipulate your metabolism and weight to a degree, and unless you want to go hardcore-Biggest Loser-style to lose weight and/or gain muscle, most of us just have to learn acceptance of who we are and how we look. As long as we are happy and healthy, right? (And there’s a symbiotic relationship right there!). For mine, Ms Em, when I think of you, I think of three Vs: Vivacious, Voluptuous, Vixen… oh, and how about Vamp? Is that okay? xx

  6. Hi Miss Emma, Am sitting in the port terminal at Piraeus, Athens, using the free internet because, ironically, I am sick with a bad head cold that has been making the rounds of the ship. We could only berth for about 4 hours today because bad weather made it nearly impossible for Queen Elizabeth to get into port, so I thought I’d skip seeing the city as I’m so unwell and I was here in November 2010.
    My point would be (although I do take a while to get to it, I’ll admit) is that I have been eating way too much on board the ship over the past 5 weeks, and just decided to eat well for the last 2 weeks of the journey, and then I got sick!
    So apart from all the other points you make, so succinctly, health is paramount, and I will get back on board in about 20 minutes and continue to eat my way back to health for my return to Australia in early May.

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