I’m fat and I’m OK.
I’m healthy, happy and my weight doesn’t get in the way of anything except for wearing bikinis which, quite frankly, doesn’t make up a large part of my day. Ever. Not once have I gotten up in the morning and thought, ‘What am I going to wear to work?’ and the answer has been, ‘Bikini’.
I don’t want anyone to jump in and say, ‘Oh no, you’re not that fat,’ or, my personal favourite, ‘You have such a pretty face.’ I am not asking for support because THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH ME.
I know there are plenty of arguments around ‘Whatever is rare in a society is valued, or ‘Whatever is difficult to attain is considered virtuous.’ My hunch is simply that someone – or in this case, innumerable people – are getting rich out of pushing this ideal.
Aluminium foil is shiny and so is silver. Society tells me silver is valuable so I keep it in a jewellery box instead of a kitchen drawer. Advertising tells me that diamonds are forever but a chunk of quartz is just as ‘forever’ in my geologically short life. People are making money out of the belief that one is more precious than the other. Sure, one might be marginally prettier, but more valuable? Why? Because one is supposedly rarer than the other.
You could say that Hitler was rare; rare doesn’t always mean good.
I have wasted years of my life thinking about my weight. I have gone on diets, exercised like a demon and eaten enough fruit and vegetables to keep the herbivores at Taronga Park Zoo going for years. If I had devoted this much time to learning French, I would be writing this in French.
I’ve had brief stints of being a Size 12 during periods of intense exercise or strict dieting but I always end up back at Size 16. This is my natural weight and I am worn out from fighting it.
In the same way that I’ve stopped straightening my hair or wearing uncomfortable shoes, I have signed a peace treaty with my fat wings, spare tyres and saddle bags. They are as much a part of my natural state as cheerfulness, friendliness and a maniacal love of plants and animals. I would never want to change any of those positive things and I give up on trying to shrink wrap myself into society’s idea of what I should look like.
I will delightedly pour vast amounts of time and money into being healthy because that makes me happy but as far as bikinis go, I am ready to say goodbye.
Have you ever felt judged because of your weight? Does your muffin top make you feel like a lesser human? Spill your guts (right out of the top of your pants, if you feel like it!) …