Mexico is definitely an Aries kind of place. Fiery chillies, upbeat chatty locals and a Crayola colour scheme that is the antithesis of beige.

I am a big believer in the ‘vibe’ and the vibe here in Mexico is undeniably cool. The First Husband and I spent a lazy afternoon at a beach club called Canibal Royal today. Surrounded by very, very good looking people, drinking Pina Coladas and looking out over the aquamarine Caribbean, I felt properly young and carefree (even if I was laughing at the jokes in Reader’s Digest, a sure indication of early onset dementia, notwithstanding the fact that I actually purchased a Reader’s Digest).

We got lucky on a last minute booking at Hotel Casa Ticul, a fresh-faced boutique property that is at the swanky end of 5th Avenue. From the stylishly quirky lobby, to the sun-drenched rooftop terrace, the whole place looks like something the Merivale Group would build but without the 75% mark up.

The shops on the strip are a motley assortment of tour booking offices, gift shops selling religious icons, Day of the Dead skeletons and woven blankets and lots of overpriced restaurants (130 pesos for two scoops of Haagen Daaz vs the local price of a taco which is 18 pesos … I am not great at maths but something about that hints at extortion).

By now you’re probably wondering about the headline. Well, earlier today something occurred to me; maybe nations have star signs too? Here’s my totally amateur assessment:

Aries – Mexico. A colourful show-off with an open nature, a hot temper and a festive spirit.

Taurus – America. Lovers of home and hearth, Taureans are born nurturers who adore their families (but they are stubborn as hell).

Gemini – Japan. Immaculate business people by day, party hard funsters by night, Geminis can stiff upper lip their way through a hangover like no one else on earth.

Cancer – Ireland. Conservative, sentimental and blithely charming, Cancerians are equally beloved of old ladies and the lads at the pub.

Leo – Argentina. Sexy, proud and invariably classy, Leos love the finer things in life but they are happy to work for them (provided they’re the boss).

Virgo – Germany. Meticulous, intelligent and frighteningly clean, Virgos could turn recycling into an Olympic sport. This makes them excellent flatmates provided you don’t mess up the paper/plastic bin.

Libra – Thailand. Due to their desire for equilibrium, Librans would rather lop off their own limb than behave unfairly. Librans love to serve and do so with grace, finesse and strength (just don’t ask them to ‘lose face’ over a bad decision).

Scorpio – Spain. Like the Basques, Scorps have a long memory and hot-blooded hearts. They love to party but you would never know it from their squeaky clean professional demeanour. Love them faithfully or else.

Sagittarius – Chile. Sagittarians love an adventure and there is nowhere more wild and free than Patagonia. Open-minded but also quite open-mouthed about their opinions, Sagittarians are a spirited bunch.

Capricorn – England. Hard-working, good-humoured and stoic, Capricorns abhor laziness, love a challenge and are good manners personified.

Aquarius – Switzerland. Aquarians are very good at remaining neutral in an argument. Diplomatic, erudite and clean living, Aquarians love beautiful things and crave peace.

Pisces – Holland. Liberal minded Pisceans are all about ‘live and let live’. Wildly creative, dreamy Pisceans live for expressing ideas and are an idealistic yet world weary bunch.

Tell me friends, did I come close to getting this right? What do you think? What star sign is your favourite country? And is Mexico an Aries?

If you liked this post, you might like this one about Frida Kahlo’s house.