Couch woman

Love is not a butterfly

Couch woman
The only thing missing is the wine

I was speaking to one of my dear friends last night and she was joking about how she’d just made a chicken nugget pizza and was sitting on the couch drinking Champagne.

She mentioned that she’s sick of doing this stuff alone.

That really struck a chord in me.

I have been criticised for pursuing love too aggressively. There’s a pervasive belief that love will settle on your shoulder like a butterfly. Here’s the thing: I have never had a butterfly just land on me. I could be waiting for a really long time.

I am fucking lonely. I don’t want to sleep alone. I want to love and be loved. I want to have a plus one. I want to find the yang for my yin.

I am not lacking in self-esteem. I love myself in a healthy, ‘you go girl’ kind of way. I am fairly independent (notwithstanding the occasional cash loan from friends and family when I’m really on the ropes), I’m educated, well-travelled, well-read … blah, blah, blah …

I have done all the self-development. I have tried and not tried.

Is it really so outrageous to just want to meet a decent, fun, kind, heterosexual, unmarried person who I can go to sleep with?




3 comments on “Love is not a butterfly

  1. I agree that sometimes you need to work really hard to find love – it doesn’t always come to those who sit at home or don’t make massive amounts of effort. But as you go after it, you sort of need to adopt a discerning, slightly cautious approach – not withholding (that just adds to the thrill of the chase for the wrong guy) but treading lightly until you are sure it’s the right thing. Lest you fall head over heels & flat on your face. 😉 Been there!

  2. haha Amen sister!

    Hence why I have jumped on The Tinder. And I’m having a blast 🙂 xx

    I did the whole “fate” thing but sometimes, you gotta give fate a hand!

    Bring on the MENS!

  3. Discerning is the word. After being stuck in singledom for much longer than I ever imagined possible, I did my share of actively pursuing romantic relationships intermixed with periods of hermit-like solitude. I think the trick is to embrace opportunities that present themselves and put yourself out there but don’t let the loneliness be the reason to lower your standards. It’s not always an easy thing to do, but trust your instincts, they’re are too many frogs out there that are never going to be princes, so don’t waste your time on them. A butterfly may not land on your shoulder but you’ll never know if you are stuck in the swamp with the frog.

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