Alone vs lonely
I spend a lot of time alone these days and I have noticed something weird happening.
The more time I spend alone, the more I want to be alone.
It’s not that I don’t love being around people; I do. I’m an extroverted extrovert. It’s just that being around people can be stressful. Things go wrong. There are mixed messages, hurt feelings and miscommunications.
When you’re alone, you don’t have to deal with any of that stuff. It’s just you, a mountain of books and a cupboard full of tea.
But it’s so lonely.
I long for someone to cuddle at night, to eat dinner with and to talk to. Someone who will actually listen to me, as opposed to waiting for me to stop talking until they can start talking. Someone I feel at ease around, as opposed to worrying that I am going to say or do something wrong.
I have wonderful friends but I am pretty sure none of them want to spoon me.
What’s to be done? Maybe it’s just a stage? Maybe I need to get out more?
Do you guys ever feel like this?