People have a lot of advice on offer for single people such as myself. Here are a few of my all-time favourites.
‘When you stop looking, you’ll find someone.’
Like when you aren’t looking for Wally? Or a car space? Or a pair of jeans that don’t make your butt look like a depressed pumpkin?
Errr, no. You find these things when you are looking for them.
I have met people when I am looking and when I’m not looking. The fact is, the more people you meet, the more statistically likely you are to meet someone you want in your vagina (and your heart).
‘Guys love it when you play hard to get.’
Do they really? Or do they just get as confused and annoyed as women do when men play games with us? Sure, there’s the thrill of the chase (we love it too) but then there’s deliberately messing someone around because you think it’s the smart thing to do.
If you want to text him straight back, just do it. Any guy who likes you will be stoked. Any guy who doesn’t like you will just get an AVO like everyone else.
‘Don’t sleep with him on the first date.’
If you drink as much as I do on first dates, this is a moot point. I might fall asleep under a table. I might fall asleep on the bus. I might even fall asleep during our first sexual encounter. Yep, I am sexy. And also sleepy after midnight. Deal with it.
But seriously, I flippantly bonked both of the men I have had long-term, meaningful relationships with on the first date. We liked each other and having sex didn’t do anything to damage or change that. If anything, it escalated things. I met their grandmothers and they didn’t even suspect that I was a dirty, first-date-sexing slutbag.
‘The timing needs to be right.’
I have met people when I was heartbroken and fallen completely in love again. The timing couldn’t have been worse and yet, there I was, up to my eyeballs in endorphins and used Kleenex.
Frankly, this is all a crock of shit. What other pieces of questionable dating wisdom should we be ignoring?