Dear Aunty Em: Feels
‘How do I have feelings?’ and ‘How do I stop having so many feelings?
– The Feels
Dear The Feels,
I suspect you are two sides of the same coin; a coin called depression and anxiety.
Numbness, or inability to feel, is one of the signs that you could be suffering from depression.
Feeling too much is also a symptom of depression, as well as anxiety. Double jeopardy, friend.
Balance and wellness is state in between this. A place where you have feelings but you are not overwhelmed by them most of the time.
It is completely normal to go through ‘meh’ stages where you can’t be bothered to open a can of Diet Coke, let alone elicit an emotional response about it.
It is also perfectly sane to feel big things when big things are happening. If George Michael shows up topless in your house, by all means, feel everything.
What is not normal – and is of deep concern to me – is when numbness or overwhelm is your normal state.
People naturally veer between these states but if your lack, or excess of emotion is worrying to you, then please seek help from a professional doctor, counsellor or shamanic healer, because hey, why not throw in a trip to South America?
If, however, you feel OK with your natural self – the self who can blithely *set baby pandas on fire, or the self who wants to cry every time it **sees a particularly beautiful plastic bag caught on the wind, then OK. That’s also fine. Run with that but with the caveat that others may not understand you.
*Don’t set fire to baby pandas.
**American Beauty references make you cry too? Oh for Christ’s sake, buy some tissues. You’re disgusting.