In the world of online dating, the one thing that stands out to me is how utterly lonely so many of us are.
Behind the clever profiles and carefully curated photos, there is a deep longing for connection; not just romantic connection but human connection.
I have noticed that people message a lot around bedtime. We’re a generation of people who live full, exciting lives during the day; loving our careers, exercising, socialising and polishing our appearances. Yet it’s at bedtime that our vulnerabilities are exposed. We’re in our pyjamas, we’re alone and we’re goddamn lonely.
For all the sexy innuendo there’s an equal dose of frustration and puzzlement. We got the degrees. We have the things. We’re good looking enough. Why can’t we find anyone to share any of it with? And why, at that quietest moment of the day, are we desperately wishing for the warmth of another human body?
I’m sure it’s not just me. Men with PhDs, who work at Google and Macquarie Bank, who manage 500-strong teams and who earn six figure salaries – they’re lying in bed feeling exactly the same way.
It’s exhausting putting on our game face all the time. Dating is brutal and it’s practically an act of god to find someone who we like, who likes us and who is available for a relationship.
How can we remedy this? Do we need to have more courage? Be more honest? Play the numbers game or just stop trying all together?