An example of the visual misery that appears if you google ‘loneliness’ aka standing alone in a muddy paddock

In the world of online dating, the one thing that stands out to me is how utterly lonely so many of us are.

Behind the clever profiles and carefully curated photos, there is a deep longing for connection; not just romantic connection but human connection.

I have noticed that people message a lot around bedtime. We’re a generation of people who live full, exciting lives during the day; loving our careers, exercising, socialising and polishing our appearances. Yet it’s at bedtime that our vulnerabilities are exposed. We’re in our pyjamas, we’re alone and we’re goddamn lonely.

For all the sexy innuendo there’s an equal dose of frustration and puzzlement. We got the degrees. We have the things. We’re good looking enough. Why can’t we find anyone to share any of it with? And why, at that quietest moment of the day, are we desperately wishing for the warmth of another human body?

I’m sure it’s not just me. Men with PhDs, who work at Google and Macquarie Bank, who manage 500-strong teams and who earn six figure salaries – they’re lying in bed feeling exactly the same way.

It’s exhausting putting on our game face all the time. Dating is brutal and it’s practically an act of god to find someone who we like, who likes us and who is available for a relationship.

How can we remedy this? Do we need to have more courage? Be more honest? Play the numbers game or just stop trying all together?

PS. For those who are interested, I came across another free dating site – deets here: http://www.freedatingaustralia.com.au/ and http://www.freedatingaustralia.com.au/chat-rooms 


4 comments on “Loneliness

  1. For a lot of Gorgeous Emma, it is the courage. Or lack thereof. I know I lack the courage. Being kicked in the teeth way too many times, having a complete stranger look me up and down and say “F*** you’re ugly” and generally lacking the courage.
    You will find what you need, my love. It is there hovering in the shadows waiting to jump out at the most inexplicible moment that will be enchanting and wonderful. Don’t be like me who really has given up.

  2. Courage is a tough one because we do learn to back away from things that hurt us and what could be more acutely painful than rejection? I don’t know the answer but I do think that we have to look at all the happy couples out there (as well as the miserable ones) and realise that they found each other somehow so there’s no reason all of us can’t find someone too.
    Lots of love to you xx

  3. On-line dating is not biologically appropriate. You need to smell potential mates.

    Strongly suggest (as always) finding an affinity group full of straight, unmarried men, and not having sex with them until some sort of pair-bonding commitment is made.

    There is no need to be lonely. You just have to be a smarter monkey.

  4. So true, Em, nicely captured. Definitely courage and an ability to roll with the punches!

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