The fourth trimester
There’s nothing like a new baby to mess up your relationship.
I am not saying we don’t love him. We obsessively, completely do. We are both like super crazy thriller movie stalkers (think of a room wallpapered in pictures of our baby’s every move with some black pen drawings for extra craziness. And maybe some poems. Terrible poems about how much we love him like the first ray of sunlight after a one thousand year winter).
But boy, it’s been hard on us.
Is it because ALL YOUR LOVE is directed towards the Tiny Person?
Is it the lack of sleep, or sex, or irresponsible drinking?
There’s just so much responsibility. SO MUCH. As the mum, I am responsible for another person 24 hours a day. I am always listening. Always on high alert. Does he need anything? Is he wet/dirty/hungry/breathing? Is he developing the necessary communication skills? Am I mirroring his facial expressions enough? Is he imprinting positive things into his developing brain?
As the dad, nothing much changes except that your wife is really tired, and is home all the time. She is more emotional and doesn’t want you to act like an idiot anymore (when previously, you acted like idiots together). She wants you to protect her, and support her, and give up all your bad habits because now you have the Tiny Person to look after.
The Tiny Person is God.
To all the people who have happy marriages and many children, I salute you.
How did you do it? And why doesn’t anyone warn you about how hard it’s going to be for the first three months?