Dating rules for women
A little while back, I wrote dating tips for men. In the interests of fairness and research, I asked my good buddy Tom to share his dating tips for women. Here’s what he said:
1. People want what they can’t have
EG: We all need to get married in order to attract a man we really like?
2. People want more of what they have to work for
EG: If you put a sandwich on the roof, does that make it more appetising than a sandwich delivered to your desk? And would men want another sandwich if they had to climb onto the roof to get the first one?
3. Relationships are never smooth sailing and if they are, it’s boring
EG: Should we throw in a pregnancy scare to keep things interesting? Maybe we should have an affair with your best mate?
4. Your time needs to be valuable
EG: Should we start booking dates in 15 minute billable increments?
5. You need to be respected
EG: Automatically respected as a fellow human being or do we need to earn it for, say, our mad blow job skills?
6. If you want to hang out with a guy, do it but don’t always be available or you’ll end up a doormat
EG: How available? One night a week? One hour a day? Should we plan dates at departure gates so there’s a finite amount of time before boarding call?
7. Do whatever you want and don’t worry if it affects him badly
EG: See: Sleep with his best mate. See also: Borrow his car and run red lights.
8. Most girls think love is instantaneous and that it will work out if it’s meant to
EG: Most girls believe in horoscopes and crystals and the ‘universe’ wanting the best for us. We believe but there’s yet to be any proof.
9. The truth is it that it’s fucking hard work
EG: Getting dumped repeatedly by guys you wouldn’t employ to clean your gutters is hard work too. We wouldn’t mind a shot at the hard work involved in cosy dinners, cuddling on the couch and sexy Sunday mornings. Certainly beats drinking ourselves to death alone.
10. It’s just not easy but I think it can work.
EG: Me too, Tom. Me too.
Sincere thanks to Tom. He’s right of course but naturally I want detailed clarification because, without it, I am still fumbling around in the dark quagmire of doing everything wrong.
What do you guys think? How can we stop sabotaging ourselves by acting crazy/needy/available?