Bridget Jones

Dating rules for women

Bridget Jones
With Easter just around the corner, Tom recommends this outfit to anyone hoping to repel men in droves

A little while back, I wrote dating tips for men. In the interests of fairness and research, I asked my good buddy Tom to share his dating tips for women. Here’s what he said:

1. People want what they can’t have

EG: We all need to get married in order to attract a man we really like?

2. People want more of what they have to work for

EG: If you put a sandwich on the roof, does that make it more appetising than a sandwich delivered to your desk? And would men want another sandwich if they had to climb onto the roof to get the first one?

3. Relationships are never smooth sailing and if they are, it’s boring

EG: Should we throw in a pregnancy scare to keep things interesting? Maybe we should have an affair with your best mate?

4. Your time needs to be valuable

EG: Should we start booking dates in 15 minute billable increments? 

5. You need to be respected

EG: Automatically respected as a fellow human being or do we need to earn it for, say, our mad blow job skills?

6. If you want to hang out with a guy, do it but don’t always be available or you’ll end up a doormat

EG: How available? One night a week? One hour a day? Should we plan dates at departure gates so there’s a finite amount of time before boarding call?

7. Do whatever you want and don’t worry if it affects him badly

EG: See: Sleep with his best mate. See also: Borrow his car and run red lights.

8. Most girls think love is instantaneous and that it will work out if it’s meant to

EG: Most girls believe in horoscopes and crystals and the ‘universe’ wanting the best for us. We believe but there’s yet to be any proof.

9. The truth is it that it’s fucking hard work

EG: Getting dumped repeatedly by guys you wouldn’t employ to clean your gutters is hard work too. We wouldn’t mind a shot at the hard work involved in cosy dinners, cuddling on the couch and sexy Sunday mornings. Certainly beats drinking ourselves to death alone.

10. It’s just not easy but I think it can work.

EG: Me too, Tom. Me too.

Sincere thanks to Tom. He’s right of course but naturally I want detailed clarification because, without it, I am still fumbling around in the dark quagmire of doing everything wrong.

What do you guys think? How can we stop sabotaging ourselves by acting crazy/needy/available?

3 comments on “Dating rules for women

  1. 1. Spend some time learning what it is that you want. Don’t lead people on if they aren’t what you want, and don’t try to fit someone into that picture if they aren’t what you want.

    2. Take it easy. Both on yourself and the other person.

    3. Don’t play games. Don’t mess about not replying to keep them interested.

    4. Be yourself and don’t fake anything.

  2. It’s funny my boyfriend said number 4 to me the other day but in regards to my friends – what he doesn’t know is that I’m applying the same rule to him as well to see how he reacts.

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