“What happens when seven people say they are going to come to a function, with a bill that has to be paid beforehand, and then they don’t turn up. I paid for this out of my pocket. What should I do?”

Annoyed ATM

Dear Annoyed ATM,

Before I lambast your friends for their rudeness, I have a couple of questions. Did everyone know you had to pay beforehand? And were their reasons for cancellation valid?

If everyone knew you had to pay, this is clear cut. They should pay you back if they are halfway decent friends. If they didn’t know you had to pay, this gets a little murkier and brings me to the second question: were their reasons valid? If someone is sick with Zika virus, stuck at work performing life-saving surgery, squashed under a two tonne truck, or otherwise unavoidably waylaid, it’s understandable that they weren’t able to make it.

If your mates were just being lackadaisical assh*les, you have every right to be annoyed. Sydneysiders are an especially fickle bunch because we are so spoilt and, at times, overwhelmed by choice and number of functions we have on. Cancelling is sometimes necessary for your own health and sanity.

The best course of action that encapsulates all eventualities is to explain the situation to your friends. Say that you got stuck with bill and see what they do. The good ones will pay up and the rest will make excuses or ignore the message completely.

The upside? You know who to invite next time.