‘Why is it always the guys you don’t want to hear from that send you cute texts and the ones you hope to hear from, you hear crickets/nothing!?’

– Silent Witness

Dear Silent Witness,

Could The Secret really be wrong? Is it possible that focusing our attention on something doesn’t attract it?

As someone who has spent many futile, boy crazy hours of my life wishing the object of my affection would call/text me, meanwhile fending off or totally ignoring the unwanted advances of … whoever those people were … I understand your dilemma.

What I do know is this: when someone likes you back, you will hear from them. If they don’t contact you, they are either, a) not interested, b) dead, c) married and on a family weekend, or d) suffering from amnesia.

It sucks, but that’s the truth. If the cute guy isn’t messaging you, it’s probably because he’s not keen. The ones you’re hearing from? They like you but you don’t like them. And on it goes.

This has nothing to do with your worth, beauty or enthusiasm. It’s to do with that individual’s preferences, something that is as deep and complex as their relationship with their mother, their first love in high school, their sexuality. And on it goes again.

This is the unfortunate metronome of human affection. When we like someone, we focus on them, and sometimes, they focus back.

The hardest truth of human life is that you can’t make someone love you. The sweetest truth is that someone will love you. You just have to keep your eyes open because that person is looking for you too.