Melbourne: The Good, the Bad and the Ugly

melbourne-the-good-the-bad-and-the-uglyThere’s nothing like a 100 year storm to make a trip memorable.

The Future Husband and I were just minding our own business when the skies opened up and emptied the freezer section on our heads.

We were walking back from the Queen Victoria Markets and the weather was looking a bit shady, but hey, we were in Melbourne; we had been told to expect this. What happened next was heart stoppingly (and I hate to admit this because of the damage bill) exciting.

It was like a giant squid had gotten frightened and squirted ink into the clouds. Everything went black. Timid rain drops were soon joined by big hunks of ice and then it started. The storm. It was exhilarating, scary and very, very loud. It gave me a scalable basis from which to understand the terrors of a hurricane.

My shoes got ruined, a lot of cars got trashed and at least one pigeon got concussion. But enough about that.

Here is my Good, Bad and Ugly list for your reading pleasure:

The Good

  • Madame Brussels – Nigh on impossible to locate, this kooky little bar makes you feel like you have fallen down the rabbit hole
  • The Gin Palace – One martini here and you’re ready to rock (or possibly stumble). With thanks to Kitteh Daddeh @barzine for this recommendation
  • Outre Gallery – Sister to the Darlinghurst gallery, this is the perfect place to stock up on affordable art
  • Alto Hotel – A hotel with a twist. Think original artworks, a cosy library-esque restaurant, super-friendly staff and a strong focus on environmental sustainability
  • Waffle On – The best place to grab a proper French baguette for $7. Carbohydrate chic

The Bad

  • Queen Victoria Markets – The clothing side is full of nasty tat made from flammable synthetics. Chav-tastic and very disappointing when you’re on a mission to buy beautiful, handmade things.
  • St Kilda Markets – The lamest excuse for an art market I have ever seen. Don’t waste the cab fare.

The Ugly

  • St KildaThis is not a beach. It’s a murky brown, waveless bay. The patisseries go some way to making amends but it’s a long way to go for a fat nun.

For anyone planning a trip south, why not sign up to the new Melbourne edition of Daily Addict before you go? It’s an excellent way to research what’s cool, apart from the weather.

Have you been to Melbourne? What would you add to my list?

2 comments on “Melbourne: The Good, the Bad and the Ugly

  1. The Good:
    Shanghai Dumpling Restaurant – drink BYO from plastic ups and enjoy fresh tasty dumplings. Just be prepared to move on quickly though – they yell at slow people.
    St Jeromes: the bar that the festival is named after – it’s wedged between big tall buildings in the cbd and the front section looks like a miniature 1950s diner.

    The Bad: I agree with the beaches. And the weather. No one should wake up with frostbite in Australia..

    The Ugly: On the surface they don’t look ugly – they look cool, alternative and effortlessly op shop chic. But they’re not. They’re Brunswick St hipsters who spend a fortune to look alternative. Probably don’t even know where the nearest Vinnies is. This annoys me.

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